


Late Night Television

by dannyvhs (PepsiRabbit)



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight Lives, M/M, Mutual Pining, Trauma, chainshipping - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27160225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepsiRabbit/pseuds/dannyvhs
Summary: Lawrence ends up lost in his thoughts while working into the night. Adam just wants some attention.
Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Late Night Television

**Author's Note:**

> midterms are a bitch and I rewatched the entire saw series again to feel better. I'll get back to my other stories soon, but for now, have some soft chainshipping
> 
> Spoilers for Saw 7

Rain pattered against the window of the apartment as Lawrence sat at his desk in a corner of the living room. The room was dimly lit by one small lamp near the couch and the tv that was playing some late night public access show. He had learned to tune out the sound when he had work to do, both for the hospital and for John. It was tricky balancing both at the same time, but Lawrence wasn’t about to just give up his job as a doctor. Not only was it his only source of income, but he now had a new fire burning in him to help those in need in a much better way.

It was always hard to put into words just exactly what had happened in that bathroom and the days that followed after, but what Lawrence did know is that John’s method worked. Despite what he had been through, despite the hot water he was thrown into when he finally returned to his family, Lawrence felt some kind of relief inside him. It was like the overwhelming darkness and depression had been vacuumed out of him. 

Lawrence hadn’t been surprised when his wife left him. What they had was unsalvageable, even after John’s test. Alison had continued on with the divorce and took Diana with her. It broke his heart, but they weren’t gone forever and perhaps it was for the best. If being apart made them both happier and healthier in their lives, then Lawrence would be okay with it.

What had surprised Lawrence was the trembling, soaked form of Adam standing at the door of his newly rented apartment on a night not unlike tonight. He had no idea how Adam had gotten his new address, but he had welcomed the man in unable to let him stay out in the cold. Once Lawrence had been helped, he had nearly begged John to free Adam. He had promised to bring back help, and in his state at the time, Lawrence hadn’t even realized that John had been the man that had placed them in that bathroom. 

It was only because of Lawrence’s pathetic pleas that Adam was still alive. John had made sure to get Adam back to his apartment unharmed after knocking him out once more, and Lawrence had assumed that was that, but it was far from the last time he would see Adam. The twenty six year old had apparently not only lost his apartment afterwards, but had lost his mind. He hadn’t come to the same inner peace Lawrence had about their shared test.

Sure, Lawrence had nightmares still and would react differently to things, but he wasn’t afraid of the memories. They didn’t haunt him like they haunted Adam. Since taking Adam in, Lawrence had seen how the memories weighed on him. Adam hardly slept or ate which showed in dark bags under his eyes and loose t-shirts. 

His mannerism had also seemed to change from what little Lawrence knew. Adam had always presented himself as a hot headed, sarcastic talking man. He would be quick to joke and quick to cuss. Lawrence had imagined him being the type to smoke weed from the back alleys too, but that was only his imagination trying to fill in gaps. Now, Adam tried to keep to himself when he wasn’t constantly pestering Lawrence for company. Adam liked listening to the tv turned up loud. He always told Lawrence where he was going, even if it was just into the other room for a snack.

Since Adam had been rooming with him, Lawrence had noticed these changes along with the subtle demands for affection along with basic interaction. It was possible that Adam just seeked some kind of validation and comfort after all the pain, but it always seemed much more like a high schooler trying to drop hints to a crush hoping they’d get wind of it on their own to make things less awkward. It was almost adorable.

Lawrence had many nights where he thought long and hard about his new relationship with Adam and his emotions towards the man. He had wished they met under better circumstances, but seeing their different walks of life, Lawrence was almost positive they never would have met without John. Lawrence was high society, part of the respected elites in the medical community, while Adam was bottom of the barrel, scraping together enough money to eat for the week, his only pleasures coming from his work and ability to live another day. It just still seemed unfair that Adam had been pulled into the game all because of Lawrence’s actions. It was the only part of the test that rubbed him the wrong way.

Lawrence was drawn from his thoughts as a finger poked the side of his head suddenly. He looked over to see Adam standing at his side. When had he gotten up off the couch? Lawrence turned back to his work as Adam had not immediately spoken upon gaining his attention. There was too much paperwork that Lawrence had to fill out for the hospital about different patients and their treatments and all the legal hoops he’d have to jump through to get them the best care. He had to get as much of this done as he could-

Adam poked him again. Then again. Like a child, he continued to poke Lawrence in the head over and over again. 

Lawrence swatted his hand away and turned in his chair to face him.

“Will you stop it?” He asked in a firm voice. “I am trying to work, Adam.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.” Adam said with a slight pout in his voice. Lawrence was taken by surprise at the blunt reply and all he could do was chuckle.

“So you’re finally out right saying it now, huh? I was wondering how long it would be until you got the courage to say something.” Lawrence carefully got up from his chair and grabbed his cane from where it rested next to the desk. 

“What do you mean?” Adam asked confused. “It’s just fucking boring in this place.”

“If it’s that boring to you, Adam, then you may leave at any time.” Lawrence turned and began to walk away from him towards the bedroom.

“Wait, Lawrence,” Adam said following. “I didn’t mean that. What I meant was, fuck I don’t know what I meant, dude. Just wanted you to stop working for once I guess. You come home and work yourself till bedtime. If you don’t stop you’re gonna like..”

Adam’s voice trailed off as the final word lingered between them unsaid. It was a hard thing for either one of them to talk about and usually went unsaid. Lawrence sighed and shook his head.

“Adam, I’m not a child. I’m a grown man and a doctor. I think I know when I’ve reached the limit on working.”

“Do you? There isn’t a moment when you don’t have your face shoved in paperwork or writing emails. I mean, for fucks sake, isn’t there shit you actually wanna do? Like, why can’t we go outside and do something like normal people? Like friends do or some shit like that! Like normal people, Lawrence!”

“Adam, you know as well as I that we are not just normal people.”

“And why not? Why does it change everything in our lives? Why can’t we just pretend it didn’t happen and try to be who we were again? Back when I didn’t fucking jump at the sound of the microwave timer or have nightmares every night!”

“Because normal people don’t have to cut off their own feet, Adam!” Lawrence suddenly snapped. Adam moved back in response to the raised voice and Lawrence could see the fear on his face. Oh, he had frightened him. Adam was so easy to frighten especially when it came to sudden loud sounds and voices. The look on Adam’s face almost looked exactly like the terrified face of Diana coming to tell Lawrence there were monsters under her bed, only Adam’s monsters were real.

“Adam,” Lawrence said softly. 

“I..I’m sorry,” Adam moved back another step. Lawrence could see a slight tremble in Adam’s hand. He was going to work himself up to a panic attack if this didn’t get de-escalated right away. 

“No no- it’s alright, come here.” Lawrence motioned for Adam to come closer. Adam hesitated before he moved closer and Lawrence brought him into a one armed hug. Adam wrapped his arms around the older male tucking his face into Lawrence’s neck.

“I shouldn’t have yelled,” Lawrence said. “It’s not your fault, I promise. It’s just..”

“It’s hard.” Adam mumbled.

“Yes, it’s hard. Very hard.”

The two stood there in silence as the rain continued on outside. Lawrence didn’t want to let Adam go. His body felt so cold against Lawrence and Adam was trembling lightly. How had Lawrence not even noticed before?

“Come on, let’s move to the couch and watch something.” Lawrence moved back from the hug and hobbled towards the couch. 

“You need help, old man?” Adam teased.

“I didn’t take you for a boy scout,”

“Well, seeing you on your back like a flipped turtle would be pretty pathetic, you know. Then I’d have to probably call someone and damn that’s a lot of work.” Adam said, coming over and putting an arm around Lawrence.

“Good to know you care about my well being.”

The two of them laughed as they sat down on the couch. Lawrence pulled the throw blanket over both of their laps and felt Adam snuggle closer to him. Lawrence had to admit, the closeness they would share when they watched tv was rather nice. He felt Adam rest his head on Lawrence’s shoulder as he watched the tv. Adam’s hands found one of Lawrence’s and he absentmindedly played with the older man’s fingers. 

These little quirks were what Lawrence really appreciated. When he had first started dating Alison, he had noticed her quirks quite quickly and found them endearing as well. There was so much you could learn about a person by seeing the absentminded things they did, their habits, their ticks and triggers. It was what made each of them human, and perhaps that was Lawrence’s problem. Alison had claimed that Lawrence was unfeeling and cold, that he lacked these small habits. He had always been a robot to her and perhaps she was right. Perhaps becoming so numb to the heartbreaking news of death in the hospital had changed who he was. 

Lawrence had seen the worst moment of a person’s life multiple times, day in and day out. Instead of being able to give sympathy and ending up in therapy, he simply shut off his heart. If he didn’t feel, he could still work. To this day, he regretted what this had done to his marriage, but he felt blessed to have a second chance with Adam. Maybe he would one day tell Adam of his growing feelings, but now was not the time. Now was the time to lick their wounds and grow stronger as individual people. 

The test was over, and Lawrence knew that Adam would always be there next to him, even if the words “I love you” never left either of their mouths. There was a connection between them and they both could feel it’s strong pull. There were no more secrets between them, except one. There would come a day Lawrence revealed his secret job. There would be a day he would take Adam to meet John properly at the workshop and meet Amanda as well. Perhaps there would be a day where Adam would work with him side by side, but until then, Lawrence would settle for being side by side on the couch for late night television.

Lawrence was pulled from his thoughts as he heard a snore come from the younger man. Adam was leaning on Lawrence completely asleep. Right on time. This was the only way to get Adam to sleep anymore it seemed, and maybe Adam knew that too. Perhaps he had been so eager for Lawrence to join him so he could actually sleep without fear of being attacked. Lawrence carefully got up and laid Adam down on the couch, covering him with the blanket.

Lawrence leaned down and gently kissed Adam’s temple. 

“Goodnight, Adam.”


End file.
